imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
