he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Farmville is her only friend.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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