When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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