Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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