Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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