He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
And then my night got REAL pukey
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
