He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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