If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
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