2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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