it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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