you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
