dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
