OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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