I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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