Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
