My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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