She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
