So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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