that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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