You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The beer is more important than you right now.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
