Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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