He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
