I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
