I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
