Well douche your snatch and let's go!
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
