ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
