covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I would fuck him just for his dog
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