Having a random hookup so left but love u
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize
