We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
