The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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