After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
