Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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