doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Randomize
