o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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