love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
