It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
