yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
