We should be called the Road Head Warriors
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
