Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
