Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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