I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
