at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
