Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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