you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
