I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I love having hate sex.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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