Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Let's get the cat blown out
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
