her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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