Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
