wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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