i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
