I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
