That's intense
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
