I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
