bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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