I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
