I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
